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Submitted on
June 6, 2011
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Dying sucked, as far as America was concerned.

He was cold, alone, and totally peaceful. And he fucking hated it.

The monster's corpse rotted and stank beside him. He didn't care. He'd killed it with his own two hands, and yet he felt no joy or relief. He'd saved all his friends from certain death at the hands of this particular monster, but he didn't care.

All he could feel was pathetic. All he knew was terrible. Pain. Anguish. Sorrow.

I just wanted…to go home with everyone.

His hands reached up and touched his chest. It hurt. His fingers came away red. He didn't want to look at the damage, any more than he wanted his friends to see the damage.

How bad had the beast cut him? Worse than he'd cut it? No, otherwise it would have died slower.

How stupid… What kind of hero loses to something as stupid as this?

He was the hero. How could he fall like this? Wasn't he supposed to laugh in the face of Death? It was him who revived England after Death claimed him once before, right? So why? Why was Death coming for him now? And better yet, why was he allowing Death to come and take him away from everything he knew?

Maybe I had this coming…

Part of him wondered if he really did. Though he pretended not to notice, he was not stranger to the fact that not many of the countries enjoyed him. Had he done something to offend someone, to make karma kick his ass in such a way?

For some odd reason, he thought about England.

Stupid old man…

England's critical expressions, his snide comments, his amazing laughter, his sweet attempts to cook, his underlying concern…

Huh… I never gave him an answer, did I…?

Before this whole thing had started, England had asked him a sort of stupid question. Not stupid because of what he said, but stupid because he had asked at all.

England already knew the answer, somewhere deep down.

And, like a moron, America had to be sarcastic and joking.

England had laughed, but America regretted it now. He wished he'd given England a real, serious answer, but maybe it was for the best. Better that he leave the question unanswered than give it a promise that would never be fulfilled, right?


He felt sad, but at the same time, peaceful. Again, he hated it. Why couldn't he scream for help?

Why couldn't he say that he wanted to live?




He knew why.

Because deep down, somewhere in his heart, he was happy it was ending this way.

The way things were going, he would die a hero.

Italy would find a way out of here. He always would. Retreating was his specialty, after all. They'd already started to find a way out the day before, far as he was concerned, and right now England was probably screaming at them to go find him because "the stupid git ran off to face the things on his own again!".

I'll be long gone if they get back here…

He smiled, bitterly.

Dying's not so bad, I guess…

The warm sting in his eyes bothered him; he hadn't been aware he was starting to cry.

…but it sure is fucking depressing…

He closed his eyes, one last time, and tried not to let that be his final thought.

Instead, he thought about England, about Canada, about Italy and Germany and Japan and France, about China and Russia and all the others. He thought about himself, sitting with them all at a world conference, laughing and making stupid remarks about things that didn't matter. But those things did matter, because they were all things they had done and said together. They were all things that had been special to him, if no one else. Those moments when they were all friends, all beside one another…They were all things he would miss, all things he knew he would regret missing.

But instead of being sad, he just smiled and thought.

And his memories claimed him one last time.
Full Title: Dying's the Worst Thing a Hero Can Endure

Hello, everyone. I know it's been a while, and I promise that I will update my other stories as soon as I can. But I just wanted to post this as soon as I could.

For some reason, I was watching HetaOni (and crying my eyes out, too), and then this idea came to me.

As Italy said, he had gone through many time loops, and a few of the nations always died right?

Well, that night, I had a dream where I saw America on the ground in a puddle of blood, staring at the ceiling and then thinking about how he was dying all alone, and about the things he regretted and the things he would miss. When I woke up, I started typing this as fast as I could before the idea left me.

This is an America from one of the time loops, where he's one of the few (or only one, I'm not sure yet) who dies.

In this backstory, he snuck out when everyone was asleep so he could fight one of the monsters that is keeping them in the house. He fought it, but the monster was stronger than most the others, so even though he killed it, America was horribly injured.

Then, as you all just read, he died all alone, but he saved his friends. And he knows that Italy will get everyone else out as soon as he can, so he feels that his death isn't going to be in vain.

And for some reason, they have their human names in this time loop... I'm not going to read too much into that.

Also, about the question that England asked America... I will let you all take a guess as to what that particular question was exactly.

I'm kind of curious to hear what some of you think it is. (Truth be told, I don't have a set question in mind; it could be any number of things, so I'm curious to hear what some of you think!)

I feel like a witch for writing this, but I just had to!

Anyway, hope you all enjoyed my sad little story and I hope that the rest of HetaOni comes up soon!
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AzraRising Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
I would love to read the reaction of the others finding him, especially Arthur and Matthew.
kayleighapril2 Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2012
Well done it made me cry so much my alfred
StriatonTrioFan7 Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2012
hetaliafan21 Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2012  Student Artist
i was listening to this : [link] it just added on to the sad mood :icontearsplz:
Sinnafain Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2012
:iconsobplz: It's soo sad!!!
Poor America!!
oceanlover4evr Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
This is so HetaOni... which means it's really depressing
AngieLovesAnime Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
That....was amazing.....G-good j-job QAQ
PwnedByPineapple Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Nope. Not crying at all.
/sobbing, actually

Actually, I wrote a similar thing with him dying in a time loop. We are terrible people.

This was amazing. Like, I got seriously depressed when I read it, and that's saying a lot. ;_; Great job.
littlecloudflower Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2011  Student Writer
That question part reminded me of the time England offered to be America's friend...
Steer-By-The-Stars Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
That was...
I can't even
Oh God. I was crying my eyes out the other day over HetaOni as well. I feel yo' pain. ;A;
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